Solution-Focused Coaching: Coping Questions and Examples
Nour
Founder, Coachful
A coping question invites someone to notice what is helping them get through a difficult situation. It can identify a person, routine, boundary, resource, or small action worth keeping. It should not make the client prove they are resilient, minimize what is happening, or suggest that continuing to work is evidence they are well.
Useful distinctions when asking about coping
| Question focus | Potential use | Important limit |
|---|---|---|
| Helpful action | Identify something the client may want to repeat. | Do not assume it is available now. |
| Supportive person | Explore a possible source of help. | Do not assume the relationship is safe. |
| A manageable next step | Reduce a practical burden. | Rest or professional help may be more appropriate. |
| Feedback on the conversation | Check whether the question helped. | A brighter tone is not proof of lasting improvement. |
Explore existing support without arguing with distress
A coping question can bring attention to something that helps, even in a difficult situation. It is an invitation, not proof that the client is strong or that their concerns are mistaken.
Being present in a coaching session does not prove that a person is coping well. Hear what they say about their situation and ask what kind of support would be useful.
Choose a question for this person and this moment
You can ask about a helpful action, a supportive person, a protected boundary, a previous experience, or the next practical need. These are areas to explore, not a mandatory five-question protocol.
Do not use questions that suggest a client should be grateful things are not worse. Follow their language and check whether the direction feels useful.
Keep the client’s immediate purpose in view
In a fictional example after a difficult work announcement, a client may want help preparing the next team meeting. The worked dialogue below illustrates finding a useful prior practice without claiming the question resolves the wider crisis.
Use consent, a useful question, and a realistic next step
- Ask what the client needs from the conversation.
- Check whether exploring coping would help.
- Listen for actual support, constraints, and practical needs.
- Agree any next action the client chooses.
- Review usefulness and additional support needs.
What a coping question is for
Solution-focused brief therapy was developed by Steve de Shazer, Insoo Kim Berg, and colleagues. Coaching draws on some of its conversational practices, but a coaching session is not automatically therapy. Peter Szabó is associated with solution-focused coaching, rather than being a co-founder of the original therapy model.
Ask permission before shifting toward coping
Begin with what the client wants from the conversation. They may need to explain the situation, make a practical decision, identify support, or arrange a different kind of help. A strength-focused question can feel dismissive if it arrives before the person has been heard.
Try an invitation in ordinary language: “Would it help to look at what is making the next day a little more manageable, or is there something else you need from this conversation?” This gives the client a real choice. If they decline, follow that information rather than treating it as resistance.
A question bank with a purpose for each question
These are original prompts for coaching practice, not a script to deliver in order. Choose one that fits the person's words and leave time for an answer.
| What you want to explore | A question to try | What to avoid assuming |
|---|---|---|
| Existing support | Who has made this week a little easier? | That support is necessarily available or safe to request. |
| A helpful action | Was there a moment today that felt slightly more manageable? | That the person must have had a good moment. |
| A protected boundary | What have you been able to say no to? | That more work or endurance is the desired outcome. |
| A practical need | What would reduce the load before tomorrow? | That the solution has to come from inside the client. |
| A next step | Which small action would be useful and realistic today? | That action is more appropriate than rest or seeking help. |
A fictional coaching example after a difficult work announcement
Client: “Since the restructuring announcement, I can't concentrate. Everything feels unfinished.”
Coach: “There is a lot unresolved. What would make this conversation useful today?”
Client: “I need to get through tomorrow's team meeting without pretending I have answers.”
Coach: “What has helped you be honest with the team in other uncertain situations?”
Client: “Separating what I know from what I don't, and saying when I'll update them.”
Coach: “Would it help to prepare those two parts for tomorrow?”
The coach does not predict recovery or tell the client that the crisis reveals their true strength. They identify a task the client wants help with and a practice that has been useful before. Preparing the meeting may be enough for this conversation, while wider uncertainty and support needs remain.
What to do when the client says they are not coping
Believe that the person is telling you something important. Do not argue that attending a session proves they are managing. People can turn up while struggling badly. Ask what “not coping” means for them and what support they need now, staying within your training and the agreed scope.
Sometimes a client means their workload is impossible; sometimes they describe difficulties that require a licensed professional. A coach should not diagnose, use a strengths exercise to bypass distress, or assume that an executive's continued performance means there is no serious concern. Discuss appropriate additional help and follow the safety arrangements relevant to the situation.
If the immediate need is practical, reduce the task. Instead of a week-long plan, the client may choose to cancel one commitment, ask a colleague to cover a meeting, or contact someone who can help. The action belongs to the client; the coach can help make it concrete and consider what might get in the way.
Turn an answer into a manageable plan
Suppose the client says that talking to their manager helped once. Explore what was helpful: getting a priority clarified, obtaining an extension, or having the workload acknowledged. This prevents “talk to your manager” from becoming a vague task repeated without a purpose.
- Name the useful part. What specifically reduced pressure or improved the situation?
- Check whether it is available now. The same person or resource may no longer be appropriate.
- Choose the smallest useful action. Define what the client will ask, prepare, or stop doing.
- Check feasibility. Consider time, access, authority, energy, and possible consequences.
- Agree the review. Decide what, if anything, the client wants to bring to the next session.
One small plan might be: write down the three urgent tasks, ask the manager which one can move, and leave the remaining scheduling until that answer arrives. The plan does not imply that time management caused the problem. It is one practical step within a wider situation.
Using coping questions with a team
Ask about the conditions helping the team continue, including staffing, decision clarity, tools, and support. Do not turn a discussion of resilience into a request that people absorb an unreasonable workload. A team may be coping through overtime or by abandoning important tasks, and that cost needs to become visible.
Make room for private or written feedback. Publicly asking everyone to name a positive can pressure people to hide what is not working. Summarize the resources worth preserving alongside problems that need a management decision, an owner, and a date.
How to judge whether the question helped
Ask the client directly. Did the question help them identify support, understand an option, or make a manageable decision? Did it feel premature or minimizing? Their feedback is more useful than assuming that a brighter tone at the end proves lasting improvement.
The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Association publishes treatment manuals describing the therapeutic approach. That literature provides context, not permission for an unqualified coach to provide treatment or claim that a question reliably resolves despair. For the coaching relationship, retain clear agreements, referral boundaries, and a practical review of what helps this client. The feedback form guide can help you ask about the usefulness of the work without leading the answer.
Choose between coping, exceptions, and future-focused questions
These question types direct attention to different things. Coping questions explore what helps someone manage now. Exception questions explore occasions when a difficulty was less present or handled differently. Future-focused questions help describe a preferred change. You can use them flexibly, with the client's purpose guiding the choice.
If a client wants to get through tomorrow's meeting, start there. If they describe one recent meeting that went better, explore the difference. If they are ready to think ahead, ask what a useful next week would look like. There is no need to complete a sequence because a technique list puts one question before another.
| Client's immediate focus | A possible direction | What to listen for |
|---|---|---|
| Today feels unmanageable. | What support would reduce the load now? | A practical need, including help outside coaching. |
| One meeting went differently. | What was different in that situation? | Conditions or actions that may be useful again. |
| I want next month to be different. | What would you notice first if it improved? | A specific change the client values. |
A short reflection exercise between sessions
Offer this only if the client finds it useful. Ask them to note one thing that made a difficult day more manageable, what was happening around it, and whether they want to repeat it. The record can be a sentence or a voice note; it does not need to become a daily assignment.
For example: “I asked the team lead to run the morning check-in, which gave me time to prepare the customer call.” At the next session, explore whether the help was available because the client asked clearly, because the team lead had capacity, or because a meeting could be delegated. That makes the learning more precise than simply recording “I coped better.”
Do not reward a completed tracker as though it measures recovery. A missed entry might mean the exercise was inconvenient or the client had more urgent needs. Ask before interpreting it.
Look at the cost of coping as well as the resources
A person may be maintaining performance by skipping meals, losing sleep, or working every weekend. Identifying the effort should not turn it into a recommendation. Ask what the current way of managing costs them and what would need to change to make the situation more sustainable.
For a team, explore where the burden has moved. One reliable employee may be covering gaps for everyone else. A useful discussion includes staffing, priorities, authority, and management decisions, alongside personal routines. Recording gratitude for the employee's resilience does not address the gap.
A realistic next step might be to make the workload visible, request a decision about priorities, or stop an activity with the appropriate approval. The coach can help prepare that conversation while recognizing that the organization must act on issues within its responsibility.
Ask for feedback without leading the answer
At the end, ask which part of the conversation was useful, what felt premature, and what the client wants next time. “Did you feel more resilient?” can suggest the answer you want. “What did this conversation help with, if anything?” leaves room for an honest response.
Use the feedback to adjust your approach. A client who finds coping questions frustrating may prefer practical planning or another conversational style. Effectiveness is not demonstrated by defending the method. It is examined through the person's experience, appropriate boundaries, and what the work helps them do.
Frequently asked questions about solution focused brief coaching coping questions
When should a coach use Coping Questions instead of the Miracle Question?
Consider a coping question when the client wants to explore what is helping them manage a difficult situation. Ask permission and avoid forcing future-focused or strengths-focused questions when the person needs something else.
Do Coping Questions reinforce the problem?
They can identify useful support and actions, but can also feel minimizing if poorly timed. Ask whether the question is useful and remain open to practical needs and additional support.
What if an executive says: 'I'm not coping at all'?
Take the statement seriously. Ask what it means for them and what support they need. Attending a session is not proof that a person is coping well. Stay within your competence and discuss appropriate help.
What can coping questions help a client notice?
A useful question may help someone notice support or a manageable choice. It does not force hope or guarantee improvement. The client’s feedback matters more than the coach’s preferred interpretation.
Can Coping Questions be used for team burnout in organizations?
Yes, if participation is appropriate and the discussion includes workload, resources, and management responsibilities. Do not use resilience language to pressure a team into sustaining unreasonable demands.
